Just forgot to add that I'm going to be working the next two days on Billboard Sky and PTSD. Started this morning by adding a small paragraph to each. Links to both in my profile.

Today is our 11th year wedding anniversary... we were gonna go see a movie, but both movies we want to see aren't playing in the late morning/early afternoon. We don't have a heck of a lot of time because we have to go to Winter's classroom for 2 o'clock to see his "portfolio", which is his best work of the year. He's pretty excited about this... :)

We'll most likely go driving around looking at furniture today... we need new kitchen chairs, the kids have pretty much demolished the ones we got 3 years ago, which is probably normal for a length of life for chairs in most families. At some point we'll end up getting icecream cones and maybe going for a walk on the boardwalk at the beach. It's pretty hot out already... thinking we should actually go to the beach again when the kids are out of school later on. Even if just for an hour. Then grill up some chicken and make a nice salad. Maybe get some wine coolers.

I was looking at Kenny this morning as he slept... I'm still in shock it's been 11 years. We've been through so much together, and as I softly scratched his back for a bit before I got outta bed, I was thinking of what a good, good man he is. And such a sexy, hairy guy, hahaha! :) On a sexual level, no guy has ever made me go kaboom as often and as strongly as Kenny does. I think that's one of the reasons, seriously, that our marriage is as solid as it is. He pleases me, I please him. It's that simple... sex is so basic, I'm sometimes freaked out that it becomes an issue in other marriages... women are wired different, there's no doubt about that, but sex actually makes things go better mentally (I know I'm more alert when I'm sexually content) which can help a marriage get through some of the bumps smoother... if a combination effort of parenting advice, media and other forms of influence could suggest to women it's ok to enjoy sex on a personal level, not as a duty, but as a fantastic physical experience for oneself, maybe there'd be one less influence on the divorce rate (lack of sex has killed many marriages).

For all our disagreements, something was gained each time that built the foundation of our marriage on beams of steel. Some silly arguments we have had made our marriage therapist from years ago laugh. Like the time I wanted a divorce because Kenny wouldn't let me wear his underwear under my skirt for a bachelorette party (my plan was to jump up on a table and strip down to the men's breifs and bra...)

Or the time we actually were being sabbotaged by a disgruntled employee, who planted her ID in his car and had her father call me up to tell me lies. That took us over 3 years to sort out. It's what landed us in the therapist office after 2 years of trying unsuccessfully to sort it out on our own. It just kept creeping back into the marriage, like thick stemmed ivy breaking the foundation walls of a building. It would have kept making things weaker if we hadn't confronted it, discussed it honestly and brutally bluntly, and turn it into something that strengthened our marriage rather than ruin it.

It's not so much about communicating... we did that all the time. The problem was ineffective communication... knowing everything going on, solving nothing. Two sides to every story, sometimes even 8 sides to every story! Now we've actually become pretty effecient at solving things first, talking about them second, and moving on from it.

During typing this out, we've been playing a game of Scrabble on ISC... Kenny just beat me 380 to 350 (weird for both our scores to end in zero like that, not normal)... we're doing a rematch now and then we'll probably head out with some good tunes playing in the CD player and 11 years under our belts. :O)

The past few days have been a blur of 'oh no' and 'jesus fucking christ' and a lot of cleaning. I'm sometimes thankful for OCD, the organizing, dusting and arranging until your head feels clear or your body drops... it's a good, natural way to deal with things, I think. The house looks great and the two most major events this week seem to be stabilizing.

He's a year and a half here on this earth, and things changed forever this week when a pot of boiling water fell upon him, 3rd degree burns... so deep his lungs got burned. He's been put into a medically induced coma. His mom is the most doting mom I know, the most careful, the most protective... accidents really can happen in the blink of an eye. He'll be in Boston for at least a month and a half, probably much more. Each day that goes by he is that much closer to making it, but each day that goes by also reveals the extensive damage done. Going door to door on Sunday to take up a collection for gas money so she can travel to Boston from Cape Cod as often as needed without worrying too much about the rising gas prices.

I talked with Noodle yesterday about all this, she couldn't stop crying when she heard what had happened to the little guy, and it seems to have become that 'something bigger than yourself' moment in her life. A time of clarity... that the world can revolve around you and you alone, if you want to only focus on you... but when you look around yourself and see the things going on in other people's lives and the ways you can make a positive difference, instead of having a negative effect on your own out of boredom or complacency... I want to be hopeful that she will somehow grab hold of her life in a more 'put it to use' kind of way. She's so creative and bright, she could really have an amazing impact on this world.

My favorite phrases from the boys this week:

Winter: "that is so cool"
KC: "awesome"

Working most of this weekend, which will be good... floating between stores, organizing... just what I need more of so I can think, think, think.

Today I write, and write, and write.

And mow the lawn.

And fold some clothes.

And maybe a little beach jaunt to walk on those wooden slats again. I like how they feel on bare feet.

Urgo helped me by setting me up with some space on his site for both the PTSD and Billboard Sky stories. Blogger doesn't have a chronological order option (as I found out on a forum), but while searching to see if they did offer it, I stumbled across a cool blog and hope to read more of it at some point:

http://peteashton.com/2004_04_chron.html

So today I'm mainly working on some writing stuff and then going to Dad's for supper. The kids have been so cool the past few days, spent most of the morning checking out the newest additions KC made with Winter to their rollercoaster theme park (computer program/game). They were working on it for about an hour before we headed out to get them to school.

I feel very organized with the writing sites right now. Am ready to write. :O)

Here's the two story sites:

http://wink.urgo.org/bbs/


http://wink.urgo.org/ptsd/

I've been tooling around on the Blogger for a few hours, in between offline stuff... downloaded some "hello" im program that is supposed to enable one to post pictures to the blogs... completely frustrated, can't get that to work.

Also can't seem to find a way to set up the other blogs going the reverse way they are... I want the oldest posts to remain, and the newer ones to go under it. But I think the 'archiving' thing makes that impossible.

What I need is a thread-like setup. I'm tired of trying to figure it out, though. For some reason I thought it would be pretty simple and basic, but it's not... I'm thinking I'll just message Urgo later on and ask him if he can suggest a way to get things the way I want them for the two story sites. After that is figured out, I can just write... gsus, I could have been writing instead of trying to figure this crap out. :/

Aside from all that, it was a pretty calm day today. The boys were excited about the thunderstorm when they came home, thunder in the distance. Last night Winter ended up running into the room when the lightening strikes got too close and loud. Nikki worked on some Writing/Reading stuff, and June is going to be mainly a refresh course on Math. This week looks pretty gentle, on the calendar anyways... hope to get a lot of things done with the freelance ideas.


So much I haven't written about anywhere... sometimes I like to talk it out rather than write it out. Thank gosh for friends with patient ears. Like Barb. And Kenny, even though he falls asleep if I yap longer than twenty minutes, hahaha. :O)

I'm beat... gonna take a quick run around the house, straighten things up, see what the boys are up to with the RollerCoaster Tycoon park they built, and then message Urgo and at the very least solve the story pages issue, if it can be solved.

Gsus... haven't had a spare 3 or 4 hour block to surf around this blog area to figure out a better set up... my boy KC got sick with a tummy flu and my dad swung by for some Scrabble games with me and The Kenny. Work, the garden, the media center, and trying to get the house situated for the inlaw visit next week has pretty much left me with an hour here and a half hour there.

I did notice a picture addition section, will quickly try that after this post. I think I might have caught the tummy virus my son had... I feel freakin' dizzy and flip-flop bellied. 3 Advil and two cups of coffee pounced on the dull headache I woke with, but nothing is removing the pit of doom feeling in my lower stomache. I'm hoping to use the power of my mind to stop the virus, right now I'm just forcing it out through my nostrils and ears. Yeh, I'm a little bit nuts, I believe in the scientific magic of positive thinking.

Been trying to find a place to download some Uncle Bonsai tunes... kaaza lite has only 2, and a coworker gave me a cassette tape insert from a very old tape called "Boys Want Sex in the Morning". The lyrics are great, and the one song I did hear (not one from that tape, an obscure one called Chubby Wanna Sundae) sounded good. Sort of like Girls Guitar Club. Lately I've been grooving on Japanese rock, old jazz, and some violent heavy metal, though, so the transistion is a little weird to the ears, hahaha. :O)

Got a junk load of errands to do today. With my boy KC home, I'm focussing on the paperwork this morning and hope to heck he's ok to drive around with later this afternoon. If not, I'll just wait until The Kenny comes home and can get the rest done this afternoon. Kinda wanted to get it all done during the day so I could hang out with The Kenny when he gets home from work.

So, the plan right now is to use this place as a sorta journal spot until I figure out the setup thing, then I'll be deleting all this and making a writing area better suited to what my mind wants.


Been getting letters from brother Billy in prison... crazier and crazier. :( I felt homocidal a few times the past few weeks, but mother's day does that to me. Got a letter from brother Ed in California, learned something I didn't know about a family member, and will be seeking the details on it, although it doesn't shock me and even though I'm sick of all the drama and headaches in this family, I am curious to know the facts on it.

My garden is kicking up some major sprouting. I have never been able to grow cantelope or green and red peppers... but this year, they sprouted and are looking hardy. I am pretty stunned, and just hoping the grub worms don't find these perfect little budders. The sunflowers are popping, as always, and the morning glories are starting to get their second tiers. Still waiting on the snow peas...



Just in case my sweetie pooks mutual-stalking buddy Xavier finds this website, I want to say... wet tshirt this summer for you, straight from the pool. Know what I'm sayin'? ;)

That's it for this mornin'... and a nice mornin' it is, even with the overcast skies and cooler temps. A great thinking and writing day, along with running around doing errands.