What a whacky week and a half it has been! An amazingly calm span, considering how jam-packed it was. KC got 2 flu bug strains which had him out of school Monday and Thursday, I finished painting the ceilings in the main part of the house on the days he wasn't home, Winter got part of his cast off and now only has a half-cast on the lower part of his arm, Kenny and I caught one of the flus KC had (wasn't both of them, because KC was far sicker than we were), and somehow we still managed to throw Winter 2 birthday parties back to back on Saturday... one with his friends at Bonkerz (overpriced but fun party), and one with family and friends here for a bbq that ended up indoors as Cape Cod experienced it's 5th weekend of rain. The grill has a cover-top, so the food was cooking and steaming up the backporch as the rain came down upon it.

On Sunday, I took the kids to an incredible art show. I'd only intended to go with Nikki and some of her friends, but it ended up that Kenny had band practice that day, so we took the boys, too. I'm so glad we took the boys... they loved the artwork, and Winter even bought a shell with part of his own money he'd gotten for his birthday. He signed the shell "Be Strong, From Winter" and hung it up with the other small signed shells that travel with the art display, dangling from a yarn-clothesline that borders the exhibit. The artist's name is Amy Kinney, and she is about to embark on something wonderful... her goal is to take the stigmas of mental illness, usually something people don't want to talk about, and air it out, talk about it without shame or fear. A confrontation of not only mental illness and all the complexities of it, but also of society's somewhat hidden acceptance of it in shame and fear. If anybody can succeed in explaining the confusing aspects that torment those who suffer from any of the mental illnesses out there, it's Amy. She also inspires hope... her artwork is a testament to her journey out of her depression, battling the unknowns that plagued her and eventually those around her (who were confused as to what exactly what was going on with Amy), getting to a point where she figured out the why, what and how of it all. The pictures and words are both vulnerable and so very, very strong... it's a paradox that frequently is seen in those who suffer from mental illness. Amy put into words and pictures exactly what it's like, exactly how it feels, exactly what to do when everything around a person is *right* but the person inside feels *nothing*, *destructive* or *unable to connect to the reality*. It was a powerful message, and Amy's work certainly will be making a wonderful impact on those who go to see it. Now out of her depression, she works on the other aspects of her illness that have created this struggle for her, some of which caused some of her depression or kept it continuing on the downward spiral. It's a cycle that once you recognize exactly what you're up against, the ability to change it gets more and more doable. And a new cycle of positive reinforcements, beginning chains of events and responses that better influence your world and your goals, all leading to the healing and control over the baffling elements that lead to so much confusion.

Yesterday, after we visited family down in Dartmouth, Winter bought 21 colorful big rubber balls with the remainder of his birthday money. I tried to talk him out of it, as any parent would when a kid walks up to you in the fish-filter section with a large carriage full of balls, but he kept insisting that it was what he most wanted and because it was his money... I figured, what the heck, and let him proceed to the checkout with the over-stuffed metal carriage of bouncy balls. He's been filling each room of the house with the balls and him and his cat Blacky/Spaz run around like little goofballs, chasing the balls. His main plan is to put them on the trampoline, he told me, and although at first I was a little concerned about the idea, I've seen them do that with the basketballs and soccer balls, and nobody got hurt. The balls just basically bounce around while the kids jump, which I guess, for a kid, is an amazingly funny thing, because all we hear from out there is laughing.

I'm gearing up to paint the ceilings in the bedrooms now, and then the walls of most of the rooms. There's at least another 3 weeks of painting to do here, but I may get it done in 2 if things stay as calm as they have been. Our house hunting goes into full mode next week. The real-estate agent that found us this house is in California right now but is due back on Thursday, so we'll be spending Kenny's day off looking at places to consider. In the back of our minds is the house just a block away from us, but we wanted to get out there and see what else is around this area before we make any big decisions. The house one block away is pretty much everything we need, except that the yard isn't a good garden yard (not enough sunshine... and kind of slopey and uneven.) Still, it could be made workable out there, but I'd need to spend a good 2 months doing nothing but yardwork. Having a smaller yard doesn't appeal to me, but because it is situated right near a great fishing pond and pine-filled woods, it's almost worth the sacrifice of more land. I spent an hour last week reading up on the pond, and it's one of the best places for swimming, fishing, iceskating and canoeing (which means if we get that house, we're going to get a small boat and lifejackets, with the pond right there behind our house we'd be silly not to!)
I can picture Kenny and the kids fishing on a Sunday afternoon, me out back weeding the garden and getting the grill ready for fish. Although I hardly have or remember my dreams anymore, there have been a few times this past week that I have had dreams that we live in that house... just small, short dreams that are those kind you wonder to yourself 'is this a dream of things to come or just some sweet wishes that could happen anywhere?' I dreamed I was following KC upstairs so he could show me how he'd set up his rock collection on the wall-shelf. I dreamed I was helping Nikki set up her bathroom and I'd gotten her some extremely pink towels that she loved. I dreamed I found a large spider's web on the side of the house near the sunporch and as I took a picture of it, the spider then began to write LOVE in the web. Or at least I think it was the word LOVE, it may have said LOOP or LOOK. I woke up wondering about my fear of spiders and how I had none in the dream. If the LOVE spider had jumped off the web and landed on my shoulder, I wouldn't have been afraid. I've been trying to overcome my fear of spiders the past few years, and I think that's probably what that dream was about. I used to be so fascinated by spiders when I was a kid, it was only after I got bitten by one in my sleep, all up and down my leg, that I became afraid around them.

Today I've got to situate some bills and make some appointments, measure the room walls and ceilings to get some paint and a paint-sprayer (the only way to do the rest of this house), tackle the bins down cellar to prep for the yardsale next month, and probably toss in a load of laundry. I'll need to navigate around the 21 balls, which currently are all hanging out in the hallway looking ready to play. I may just have to put on some socks and music and take a five minute break at some point, because those balls do look like they'd be fun to jump around with. :D