I don't hate this year anymore. For a long while, I thought I'd be hating this year for the rest of my life, more than any other year of my life - but ya know, even with the death of my dad, which punched me and my family to the very core, and created such deep sadness, emptiness and heartache in all of us, the things my dad talked with us about during the five weeks of this year that he lived to see, along with the one week of 2006 starting at the point when he knew he was going to die, and especially the one-on-one talks I had with him for hours at a time... nah, this year isn't as bad as it sometimes felt. Death is a part of life - I will die someday. My children will die someday. What's important is that whole learning and sharing what we learned aspect. The learning, the growing, the enlightenment. The love and forgiveness, the understanding and patience. The recognition in all of us that this is just one piece of the big picture. Just one piece...

And as I sit here on the eve of the day when this part of the learning began, on the day before before Christmas in 2006, when my dad came to answer his door sick with what he thought was a tummy flu... as I cry quietly reflecting back on the events of those six weeks, from beginning to end, I just keep feeling thankful... I just keep feeling so very glad that we had that time to finish up the sharing, in a beautiful and graceful conclusion to an astounding, remarkable life journey, such as my dad's journey was. I sit here, my throat in that 'feels like it got a frog in it' spot, and my eyes just tearing up as I listen to a concerto piece from youtube that my dad surely would have loved (needless to say, it's a backdrop piece of music to a Ron Paul video... heehee)... anyways, I'm ok with this year now. I have made peace with it. I don't hate 2007. It took away some good stuff, but it gave so much in good stuff, too - and I learned. And I know that we're on the brink of something wonderful... surely, it won't be easy, and surely it will be hard work, and surely we'll all be a little nervous in the future but I know, I know that this year is one that we're all so lucky happened... as it will greatly impact our ability to cope with and confront the issues to come.

And I know that in some way, my dad's spirit is still a witness to it all... and he smiles. He knows. He knows that we can do this. He knows that our strength is in our knowledge, in our love, in our fortitude and our determination... in our ability to tap into the best and brightest parts of our minds, our hearts and our souls.

And, so... I now begin the process of dealing with the six weeks. From start to finish, every day a different memory or reminder. Every day its own 'anniversary' of the last days spent with Dad. It will sometimes make me cry, it will sometimes make me laugh, as he did, each day filled with just about every emotion you can feel... and every thought you can think, and every question you can ask, and every answer you waited a lifetime for...

Happy holidays to everyone. May we all make peace with those roughest of life's moments, and may 2008 continue to strengthen us with truth and knowledge.