I don't hate this year anymore. For a long while, I thought I'd be hating this year for the rest of my life, more than any other year of my life - but ya know, even with the death of my dad, which punched me and my family to the very core, and created such deep sadness, emptiness and heartache in all of us, the things my dad talked with us about during the five weeks of this year that he lived to see, along with the one week of 2006 starting at the point when he knew he was going to die, and especially the one-on-one talks I had with him for hours at a time... nah, this year isn't as bad as it sometimes felt. Death is a part of life - I will die someday. My children will die someday. What's important is that whole learning and sharing what we learned aspect. The learning, the growing, the enlightenment. The love and forgiveness, the understanding and patience. The recognition in all of us that this is just one piece of the big picture. Just one piece...

And as I sit here on the eve of the day when this part of the learning began, on the day before before Christmas in 2006, when my dad came to answer his door sick with what he thought was a tummy flu... as I cry quietly reflecting back on the events of those six weeks, from beginning to end, I just keep feeling thankful... I just keep feeling so very glad that we had that time to finish up the sharing, in a beautiful and graceful conclusion to an astounding, remarkable life journey, such as my dad's journey was. I sit here, my throat in that 'feels like it got a frog in it' spot, and my eyes just tearing up as I listen to a concerto piece from youtube that my dad surely would have loved (needless to say, it's a backdrop piece of music to a Ron Paul video... heehee)... anyways, I'm ok with this year now. I have made peace with it. I don't hate 2007. It took away some good stuff, but it gave so much in good stuff, too - and I learned. And I know that we're on the brink of something wonderful... surely, it won't be easy, and surely it will be hard work, and surely we'll all be a little nervous in the future but I know, I know that this year is one that we're all so lucky happened... as it will greatly impact our ability to cope with and confront the issues to come.

And I know that in some way, my dad's spirit is still a witness to it all... and he smiles. He knows. He knows that we can do this. He knows that our strength is in our knowledge, in our love, in our fortitude and our determination... in our ability to tap into the best and brightest parts of our minds, our hearts and our souls.

And, so... I now begin the process of dealing with the six weeks. From start to finish, every day a different memory or reminder. Every day its own 'anniversary' of the last days spent with Dad. It will sometimes make me cry, it will sometimes make me laugh, as he did, each day filled with just about every emotion you can feel... and every thought you can think, and every question you can ask, and every answer you waited a lifetime for...

Happy holidays to everyone. May we all make peace with those roughest of life's moments, and may 2008 continue to strengthen us with truth and knowledge.

The internet is a funny place... recently, somebody has (again) taken to using an old nickname of mine, previously used on an old forum, to start posting anti-government rants in all-caps on, of all places, a Detroit newspaper website! Check this out: http://forums.freep.com/search.php?search_author=NarcolepticFitThrower&sid=3fe254ece8a1f916fe4f8e67db618a12

and a cut and paste:
Author Message
Topic: Granholm sees hope as lawmakers work toward resolu
NarcolepticFitThrower

Replies: 294
Views: 13574
Forum: Michigan Posted: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:58 pm Subject: IDIOTS
LET THE GOVERNMENT SHUT DOWN! THEY'RE ALL IDIOTS! LOSERS! REJECTS! CAN'T TRUST ANYONE THAT ACTUALLY WANTS TO BE IN OFF...zzz.zz.zzz.zzzzzzzz.zzzzz


I laughed ... but this is one example of how and why it's very tricky out here in cyberspace to be certain the person behind the monitor is 'who you think it is.' Apparently, this particular person knows me from the previous (and possibly the current) forum I post on for political debate, and I'm sometimes politically misunderstood to have a 'shut down all government' attitude. For the record, that's not my mindset or mindframe at all in regards to government. Although in Detroit, Michigan, I'm sure there are some people who feel and think that way... or perhaps just one person somewhere out there in the world who wants to give the impression that I personally think and feel that way.

I'm sure there's other uses of other nicknames I use out there on various forums, using this same method of hyper-anarchist 'voice', when actually I'm all for a small government that just simply follows the state and federal constitutions. I also know that not all in government are "idiots, losers, rejects."

Anyways... this reminded me of some years ago when I came across some posts by another former nickname of mine "BagOfEyebrows" which also weren't written by me... so be careful out here in cyberspace, people, because what you see isn't always who you think. ;)

While I am prone to political rants, they are usually 4 or 5 paragraphs long, with all-caps off, and often filled with a crapload of emoticons and cuss words (I post on an uncensored forum.) It's where I get my anger out, let my brain fly free, speak my mind in my mind's voice, so that when I'm offline I can temper it in order to be easier on the ears.

Once again, I want to let family and friends know that if you ever come across anything that you think possibly was written by me out here in cyberpsace, and it's something that concerns you (as I can see this particular use of my nickname would cause concern for some family/friends), just call me or email me and you will get a yes or no flat out and know for sure - hopefully most family and friends would be able to recognize that this particular use of my online nickname was void of my 'voice', but because some folks are easily fooled (which the user of my nickname was counting on), it's important for you to know the kinds of shenanigans that take place out here on the internet.

Hopefully, with all the new laws passed regarding anti-government sentiments, the CIA, FBI and Homeland Security have delved into the IP of the person who 'trolled' using my nickname and noted that the IP address didn't match up to mine! But just in case our government 'intelligence' resources fell for this online prank (hey, they accidently got us into a war based on this same 'intelligence'), I just wanted to state, for the record, that I did not post that stuff to Detroit Free Press, check the IPs to be sure before you falsely arrest me and waterboard me, okay? :D

Happy holidays. :)

At the insistance of Winter, when he heard my idea for the xmas tree this year, I put together a pretty political theme for our christmas tree.. then he said it would be a great idea to make a youtube video outta of it for Ron Paul ... so, I did that, too. So... here it is. My Christmas wish list:



Happy Holidays :)