Next week I'll be doing a large amount of blogging, to catch you all up on the past, uh... month? I dunno how long it's been since I blogged, but I've been incredibly busy. I have a lot of great videos and other stuff to share!

In spite of being busy, I've been sporadically sharing emails with some guy in France for the past few weeks. Here's his latest email to me, along with my reply:

From: paulmartin koffy
To: Capri Camille
Subject: IN DETAILS
Date: Wed, 1 Nov 2006 11:56:16 +0100 (CET)

Dear Capri,
Thank you for your mail and for telling me your mind. To be honest with you, there will be no problems at all associated with this. If there is, i will be first affected because i am the initiator and i am here too.
Firstly you do not have to come here for anything. You do not have to send your passport or ID for anything. Also from the underground arrangement i made, everything will be done in the legitimate and official way and manner. The government here will make recommendation for the documents that will back the transfer. So just feel free with me.
I know both of us do not relate to the deaceased and i know somehow it is wrong, but instead of the government of this country to transfer the fund into its account as an unclaim fund, that is the reason i contacted you so that we will use the opportunity to enrich ourself.
After hearing from you, i will tell how to cantact our bank and what to tell them so that the fund will be released to you.
If you want to dail my number, just dail, +22508302675. Call me at any time.Remember to send your number to me.
Paul



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Dear Paul,

I extend my apology for how long it has taken me to get back to you. It has been an unusually hard week. I learned of the deaths of numerous family and non-family members internationally, via emails like yours. While our email exchanges have been pleasant, this barrage of global catastrophe of the Camille family line has been brutal and I am pretty much inconsolable at this point.

Granted, I'll be a very wealthy woman after I call all the phone numbers, give bank info, and then book flights to all the countries my relatives (and non-relatives) have met their demise, in order to collect the unclaimed inheritances. But money can't change how devastating this catastrophic squishing out of the family blood line will be to the future generations on this planet. Ours is a great genetic coding, and now that DNA has been ripped from the breeding pool by all kinds of car crashes, train wrecks, natural deaths (although suspicious, if you ask me, I watch CSI and Cold Case!), fires and even a freak sandstorm in the plains of some place I can't even recall how to pronounce, nevermind spell. :(

Anyways, I'm going to need a few days to overcome my serious grief here... I wouldn't feel comfortable right now putting you at risk of being put in some foreign prison for the initiation of fraud on our collective behalf. I'm sure what goes on in your country's prisons is probably as scary and as crazy as it is here in my country. In America, those who commit fraud are often found shanked, with their own pillowcases shoved in their mouths, and blood pouring from their rectal region. Oddly, sometimes written in bum-blood on the prison walls is the word "SNOPES". It must be prison slang for "OWNED!" It's reported all the time in the news, Fred, google it.

I'll email you back when I feel ready to put you in that kind of jeapordy. As the money is a GIGANTIC AMOUNT, I'm sure it will eventually sway me to put my financial wants and needs above the risk of the safety of your flesh and genital region. :) Although, with all of the family deaths going on across the globe, apparently I am about to become richer than the guys who sold youtube to google.

Have a happy holiday season. I look forward, as I'm sure you do, to our eventual 'rolling around naked on a bed with piles of one hundred dollar bills flying about'. We're going to be super-duper rich, Paul! Hang in there while I weep for the Camille-lessened future of Earth. :(

Sincerely,
Capri

p.s. if you have any good rum over there in France, why not ship me a case of it to celebrate our eventual good fortune? I'll pay you back, you know I'm good for the money!