We've got a Scrabble tournament to go to this weekend, last weekend we helped out at the School Scrabble Championship... so time is short, busy and although I shouldn't be writing a blog post and should be doing dishes and finishing up packing, I have to write about something pretty funny, ironic and interesting that happened today while we were geocaching.

The reason we HAD to go geocaching is because KC found another Travel Bug. We'd heard these Travel Bugs were rare, but we've found one in just about every single cache we've been to... even found another one today while dropping off this one!

So, with time not being extra decent to be driving and then hiking around, we needed to find a very close by cache to put the travel bug in. I noticed a cache was at Dennis Pond, which is within five miles from here, but I figured with time being important not only because of the 'so much to do before this weekend' aspect, but also because Winter doesn't get home from school until close to 4 p.m. and the sun starts to set about 2 hours later, I'd do a search for a map of Dennis Pond to find the best parking area instead of driving around as we sometimes do just going completely by what the gps unit tells us. So, in my google search of Dennis Pond, I find this link, the very first one on google I think it was: http://www.cctrails.org/dennpond.htm

Scroll down just a tiny bit to the bold print "note" in that and you'll read:

Note: Trailhead 1 has been closed by the Yarmouth police because they could not control the unlawful activities of homosexual men in the adjacent woods. Innocent walkers in the area were thus harassed and embarassed. The east end of the Dennis Pond trails is also posted as "closed, due to maintenance."


Ok, so I'm kinda laughing to myself reading that, wondering what 'unlawful activities' are being committed, thinking perhaps the sodomy laws long since revoked perhaps were viewed as still illegal here in Cape Cod? Or maybe just indecent exposure. Can you imagine going for a little nature trail hike and seeing in the distance some guy leaning against a tree, pants down around his ankles, with some other guy on his knees in front of him? THAT WOULD ROCK! If you're alone or with other adults... if you're with kids, though, well... kids sometimes will run ahead. So you'd get the stunned face of confusion look on your kid running back up the trail to you

I figured the harassment was probably due to some straight guy going for a hike and maybe being mistaken for 'gay guy looking for some sex in the woods' kinda action. An innocent comment like "Are you here for something?" from a gay guy while you're out on a hike might feel like harassment, and I can't figure any gay guy who is in the woods designated the gay hot spot is going to approach a potential sexual partner without at least a bit of politeness. Embarassment, sure, once a guy realizes he's being asked if he'd like a penis up his bum.

So I continue my google search for a decent map or names of streets around Dennis Pond, and finally find one. Not thinking much about the gay guy warnings, as I figure the whole thing is blown outta proportion. I don't expect I'll be subjecting my sons to a hardcore display of assless chaps and Frankie Goes To Hollywood music blaring from a boom box as two men get it on in broad daylight right in the middle of a hiking trail. What are the odds?

( By the way... I find homosexual stereotypes funny, I am very non-PC and my gay friends don't have a problem with it so I hope nobody gay reading this blog emails me about how much they hate Frankie Goes to Hollywood music. I already know not all gay men like that Relax song, chill, baby, chill!)


Well... the odds, as it turns out, were missed by just minutes. As we get to the opening of the hiking trail, a very handsome older gentleman in a very nice office suit is walking out. I say hello and smile at him, and point out how I'm also still in my office clothes (fancy tights, dress and heels, which I very much regretted wearing as we embarked through pricker bushes.) The guy looks shy and embarassed. I think nothing of it, but as we continue walking, we come across a second guy, only a minute behind the other guy, and this guy is wearing a grin and is also over-dressed for a hike in the woods. I say hello to him, and before he even says anything, I remember the bold printed warning "homsexuals!"


He doesn't seem as shy or embarassed. In fact, he looks downright happy and at peace with himself. "Relieved" is probably a decent way to put it. You know, that after you've blown your load look guys get. The air around him as it swirled past me smelled of cologne, warm sweat and, well, sex. Good beans. Whatever knocks your socks off, buddy.

It then hits me... we just missed, narrowly missed, an event that would have literally made this geocaching excursion one of the oddest. I figure had my boys seen or heard anything, like seeing an ass up in the air, or hearing some grunts, I'd have just said "Ok, time to turn around and find a different cache to find," and that would have been that. Had either of them walked ahead, they'd have just turned back and been a bit weirded out, but about as weirded out as a kid will get when the neighbor's kid shows them 'this magazine I found in my father's bottom drawer' for the first time. My boys already know what 'gay' is and they also already know what 'sex' is. I'm very thankful they didn't accidently witness something in the act. But I also find the whole experience very, very, VERY surreal and oddly comical in its own way. But I find pretty much everything funny... I'm not sure I'd have found it funny as quickly had we literally walked up to two naked grown men frolicking in the leaves and pine cones. But I'm sure at some point I would have and I'm sure even my boys would have looked back on it years from now as one of the more humorous moments of geocaching.

As of right now, in their minds, two guys were just leaving the woods as we were going in to geocache.

Some may argue... hey, maybe it was just two nicely dressed, nice smelling, slightly sweaty men leaving the woods less than a minute apart from each other. But you gay guys know... like I do... that it was a woodsy fuck. Life happens. Homosexual Hiking Trail Humping happens.

I'm off to dishes, packing and bed. :)