some things I jotted down so that I wouldn't lose them...

when I drove to the meeting, along a newly paved highway, a young man in faded blue work jeans and a white work shirt napped on his tractor, parked in that space between, the protection barrier, the large pine trees and other growth meant to be both a buffer and eye candy. A deep gray shadow lay over his sleeping, draped legs, splayed casually over the side of his machine. A large pine held a hand up to the sun to block it from disturbing him. It was near lunch time, and he would rather consume the peace of rest than food. His chosen spot for this sleep was making me wonder how much attention is given to the safe spots we hold inside ourselves; do we have to pick up litter and trim tree branches in our mental safetey zones? It also made me realize that safety zones can be like this... right in the middle of chaos. The highway divider, the eye of a hurricane, the core of a tornado. A calm, safe spot right in the center. But it can't protect one from everything...

and I saw just that on the ride home, which only made me think harder about it as I witnessed the minutes-later aftermath of a serious accident in the spotlight glare of the almost-sunset, I could hear pieces of metal still falling from the vehicle. I was not shocked to read the driver had died... and I was not shocked to see she was the same exact age as me, either. I knew even as I saw her things scattered along the jet-black highway, clothes and books and notebooks. Large pieces of glass, so big I wondered if something besides windows broke, it didn't even look like windshield glass, so sharp and jagged.


5.) Conn. woman perished in accident near bridgeAuthor: CAPE COD TIMESPublish Date: September 24, 2004Word Count: 228Document ID: 1055149DE1A8B7F1
SAGAMORE - State police have released the name of the woman who was killed in the single-car accident Wednesday afternoon on Route 6 near Exit 1.
Heather Smith, 36, of East Haven, Conn., was behind the wheel of a 2002 Chevrolet Trailblazer sport utility vehicle, heading west on Route 6, at the time of the crash.
Investigators say speed was likely a factor as Smith approached the Sagamore Bridge and lost control of the vehicle.

6.) Route 6 rollover kills driverAuthor: ERIC WILLIAMSPublish Date: September 23, 2004Word Count: 274Document ID: 1054C3870E21BDA5
BOURNE - One person was killed and another suffered life-threatening injuries in a one-vehicle rollover accident on Route 6 yesterday afternoon.
State police said the accident occurred shortly after 4:20 p.m. on the westbound side of the highway, just before Exit 1. According to state police, the driver of a 2002 Chevrolet Trailblazer sport utility vehicle apparently lost control of the vehicle while traveling in the left lane.

I feel I should go to her graveside and cry until I can no longer cry. In my head, when I try to force a different ending on this, I see the sleeping man on the tractor saving her life, carrying her from the wreckage, her head gently pressed against his chest, and I can see her mouth the words "thank you..." and I see love in both of their eyes. And I have always felt love could solve any problem, protect anyone from anything.

I know now that love can not fix some things. I knew at the meeting. I knew at the scene of that accident. I knew all along, I suspect, but just wanted love to be that strong and capable.
Love can not sooth all wounds. Love can not make everything better. Not everyone responds to love.

Not everyone responds to love.

And speaking of love... In his eyes I felt a familiarity and I then got a huge jolt of love from my heart to him. Who was he... stranger from New York. No stranger glance in his eyes into mine. He knows me and I know him, but he would not say. He just bought a round of drinks for our table... I have guesses as to who it was, but I am not sure I'd be right about any of them. It could even be that he was a stranger... stranger things have happened in my life to me. Like having an Orlando-Bloom looking waiter for the whole night... and shoving twenty dollars down his underwear and wishing I could just take him into a back room for a wall fuck.

At work the other day, to change the subject quickly and abruptly so I do not think too much about the love and sexuality of a night full of mental debauchery, three Ford Model A's were parked at the gas pumps the other day at work. The couples driving around in them were fun loving and happy go lucky as could be. It was the coolest thing to gaze out the window and see three of these right in a row:

http://www.eurasia85.be/test/nieuweversiefotoalbum/ford%20model%20a%201930.jpg

There's other things to write about, but I have to get started on the painting. Delay upon delay with it has made me more anxious to get it done. I want to put up the Halloween decorations next week, so the ceilings have to get done this week in order for that to happen. Autumn is here completely... this morning Winter caught a leaf as it fell from a tree at the bus stop. KC brought his costume to school for 'share', a thing his classroom does each week where students are asked to share anything exciting and new from their lives. I found out something I didn't know about KC this past week; he loves to read about world records. It intrigues him and I'm wondering if he has plans to break some records in his lifetime. I'm positive he could.

Gronk just messaged me, so I will end it here. :wave: