If ever a video encapsulated entirely how I feel, at this moment in life, this one would be it. The empty pianos surrounding him, fortelling him his fate, singing his song anyways, trying his best to just go on... being overwhelmed by wave after wave, until he's knocked off the stool.

There's just such force in waves crashing in, one right after the other. And if the pushing doesn't work, the ocean will do its best to make the piano unplayable... make your song drown, and you with it.

The part where his hand is reaching out of the ocean water to just touch those piano keys, trying so hard to keep the melody going. That's the part of the video I'm at in life. Just trying so hard to rise above almost too many things going so wrong, all at once.

My dad just gets weaker and weaker. He must feel the same way I do right now. Actually, probably even more so than I do. Life's full of such adversity and challenges sometimes. He's got so many songs left to play on his piano. I can't even imagine life without his music... he's stubborn, though, so I'm keeping a strong sense of hope, and he is, too. But there's this underlying current, and there has been since his battle started, that things may not end well. That's been the strangest part. Most times, if not *every* time, when things have gone awry for anybody in this family, the underlying current has been one of almost obnoxious optimism, good humor and a determination to pull through. Not that this current situation is void of any of that... optimism, humor and determination are there, but there almost seems to be an unusual amount of blunt acceptence that things might end with an empty piano stool. Mainly from my dad himself, which has blown me away. I've never known him to give up on anything. He is the epitomy of endurance. But he's also extraordinarily logical.

And that's just one of the pounding waves currently crashing. I'm pretty much at a soft whisper of a hum right now. The music inside never fully dies. I look around me and see so many positive things and aspects with areas in life that not long ago were a bit eroded, and I'm trying to find strength and comfort in things that are going right.

Part of me, while watching that video, just wants to walk right over to that piano, lift it up over my head, and put it far, far up the beach. And I actually think I'd have the strength to do that. Even in the sand. Away from the ocean and all those waves. I want to grab that lead singer and lift him up over my shoulders and bring him to saftey, too. Then I want to just sit in the sand dunes and hear every other song he has to sing.

I don't think Boston would be any better than California for the chick in this song... when you're at that spot in life, and who hasn't been there, it's better to pick a place like Nebraska. Or Guam.

But I agree with the lyrics that some snow would be nice. And I'm tired of the sunsets, too, and could use some sunrises myself. Which I guess is why I got up at 4:30 a.m. this morning. It was a very comforting sunrise.

My pops better pull through.