I've been thinkin' about something I've heard a lot over the past year... about Ron Paul being our last hope. Ron Paul isn't our last hope.
I know Ron Paul would agree.
"Ron Paul is the last hope for this nation" implies that freedom and liberty are controlled, preserved or capable of being revived by just one man.
It never was about the 'one man' - Ron Paul knows this. It's not about him, but all of us who have done the reading, researching and searching for truth and common sense in this maze of confusion that has become our local, state and federal governments.
I'm glad Ron Paul is still in the presidential race - I'll write him in if I have to. He represents me, my country and the honest, logical and compassionate ideologies I subscribe to.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
We arrived home in Northwood, New Hampshire on March 15th. The journey to here has been a long one, but I'm positive it took as long as it did for many good reasons. The most important reason being the learning that transpired last year with a man named Gene, who resides in Cape Cod.
On the morning of the closing, my car wouldn't start. It was packed with all my plants and cleaning supplies for the new home. I had to make a choice between the plants and cleaning gear, and ended up transferring the cleaning gear over to Kenny's car, which was all that could fit. I hoped that the car would start on moving day (it didn't... it's still in Cape Cod.) I found it funny, in an ironic way.
The closing was supposed to occur at 10:00 a.m., but didn't take place until 3:00 p.m. I had planned to clean the house up in prep for Saturday's move - but the delay with the closing squelched that plan. Those who know me and my 'cleaning frenzies' are probably wondering how in the heck I didn't freak out with not being able to go nuts with a vacuum, broom, mop and washcloths in a home I was just about to move into... I didn't mind one bit about the delays, because all that really mattered to me in the first place was just moving here to New Hampshire. The cleanup will just have to happen over the course of time. The closing guy and Kenny were laughing at how unphased I was with the closing delays - "everything will be fine and work out in the end" I kept telling them.
And it did! Except for the car ever starting.
On moving day, things went great - except for the car, and also my estimate of arrival time, which ended up being an hour later than expected. When we arrived here in New Hampshire, a group of Free State Project guys were waiting at our house to help us move stuff in. During the wait for us, they had shoveled our entire driveway and had the garage opened and ready for the big move. Those guys really take charge of a situation! They had the garage stereo on and were incredibly and phenomenally helpful.
It was so great for Kenny to meet them - although he's not as political as I've been, I think meeting those guys boosted Kenny's thoughts about being involved. The impact they had on Kenny was my favorite part of the experience.
The first night in the house, something happened that I didn't expect. As I laid my head on the pillow, my mind sorta going over the joyous day's events, my eyes, even though they were closed, began to feel so hot with pain. A thick, deep sadness stabbed my heart, and I first I couldn't figure out why... I remember laying there struggling to figure out how and why I was feeling so tremendously and powerfully sad when I was so happy to finally be in New Hampshire.
There's two reasons, I eventually figured out, but one of them was at the forefront.
My dad wasn't here with us.
Although it's been over a year since he died, it hit me on Saturday night how much I had looked forward to one day moving to New Hampshire with my dad. Now that I was here, and he wasn't here with us, it was breaking my heart and mind all over again, as his death did. That same intense pain, of seeing him passed away in that hospital room, and knowing of future moments I wouldn't be able to share with him, and here I was literally in one of those moments... moving to New Hampshire.
Knowing what my dad was missing out on, how happy he would have been to meet the FSP guys who came to help, especially since one of them owns a gun range. I couldn't breathe, the sadness was so crushing. It was also pissing me off, because I didn't want my first night in New Hampshire to be filled with such hardcore grief - but I couldn't shake it. Kenny probably wondered why I didn't chat up a storm when he came to bed. When I'm happy, which is most of the time, I'm all 'blah blah blah.' I think I said a sentence or two and then just got silent with my heart aching so badly it felt like somebody had put a suitcase full of boat anchors in it.
The second reason is something it'll take me some time to deal with - something personal that I'll have to resolve on my own, with time. Life sometimes adds stuff to the mix you never expect or even fathom will be an issue. It's been a long year, full of complex situations that I'm both thankful for and baffled by and some of which I'm angry about - but I think the choices made were the logical ones. There's a part of me, though, that questions some decisions I made. I wish I'd had more time to think about stuff, to talk about stuff, but the way the year went, in one big rush, with almost too many variables and unknown variables, in the end I just had to do and not do things based only upon the things known.
I wish I'd recognized the things I did know in the summer of last year as being things I probably shouldn't deal with alone. But I'm stubborn, and didn't think it would be a problem. I thought moving to New Hampshire would actually immediately resolve things in my mind and heart, but now I know that won't be the case. So, I'll deal with it, one day at a time.
The unpacking is going well - my only worries: I can't locate the swingy arm thing to my dad's grandfather clock, and the marble clock (which was supposed to go in my car) needs to be fixed in the back again, as it went up in the moving truck, and the swingy arm thing on that fell off and I can't locate the piece it connects to.
We're going to get my car on Saturday, hopefully. Not having a vehicle has a plus to it, though - my days are stuck here unpacking and sorting stuff out, so it's getting done very fast.
My new computer area is in a windowed sunroom, which has a birch tree and willow tree in view, as well as hundreds of other types of trees, and two huge, curvy hills in the near distance - everything has a nice layer of snow on it, too. The moon sets right between the dip between the two hills. It's a pretty room to spend mornings in, doing my computer routine of cribbage/spades/scrabble and emails. I love it - spending today organizing it, now that the rest of the house is somewhat in order. A plumber is coming today to fix the various issues we knew about prior to buying the home (nothing too major.) Last night I cooked a 'real meal' for the first time since we moved here - meatloaf, mashed tats, peas, rolls, cranberry sauce. :) I also put up Easter decorations yesterday, which the boys were happy to see when they got home from school.
Got to meet a bunch of FSPers on Tuesday night in Manchester - including somebody I hope is our next congressman for this district. Wish I could go to that event every Tuesday night, but trying to do the whole family/work/politics balance in life... gotta not schedule up the weeks too full.
Feeling 'centered' and ready for the next 40 years of my life. :) Lotta work to do, but I'm up for it. And thanks to Gene, I'm full of clarity and simplicity that makes it all the more easier and enjoyable. Sorta like having just the right tools to do a really big project... just makes things all the better.
I've been typing now for 22 minutes more than I planned to... time to get to this room organization.
Home... finally. :)
On the morning of the closing, my car wouldn't start. It was packed with all my plants and cleaning supplies for the new home. I had to make a choice between the plants and cleaning gear, and ended up transferring the cleaning gear over to Kenny's car, which was all that could fit. I hoped that the car would start on moving day (it didn't... it's still in Cape Cod.) I found it funny, in an ironic way.
The closing was supposed to occur at 10:00 a.m., but didn't take place until 3:00 p.m. I had planned to clean the house up in prep for Saturday's move - but the delay with the closing squelched that plan. Those who know me and my 'cleaning frenzies' are probably wondering how in the heck I didn't freak out with not being able to go nuts with a vacuum, broom, mop and washcloths in a home I was just about to move into... I didn't mind one bit about the delays, because all that really mattered to me in the first place was just moving here to New Hampshire. The cleanup will just have to happen over the course of time. The closing guy and Kenny were laughing at how unphased I was with the closing delays - "everything will be fine and work out in the end" I kept telling them.
And it did! Except for the car ever starting.
On moving day, things went great - except for the car, and also my estimate of arrival time, which ended up being an hour later than expected. When we arrived here in New Hampshire, a group of Free State Project guys were waiting at our house to help us move stuff in. During the wait for us, they had shoveled our entire driveway and had the garage opened and ready for the big move. Those guys really take charge of a situation! They had the garage stereo on and were incredibly and phenomenally helpful.
It was so great for Kenny to meet them - although he's not as political as I've been, I think meeting those guys boosted Kenny's thoughts about being involved. The impact they had on Kenny was my favorite part of the experience.
The first night in the house, something happened that I didn't expect. As I laid my head on the pillow, my mind sorta going over the joyous day's events, my eyes, even though they were closed, began to feel so hot with pain. A thick, deep sadness stabbed my heart, and I first I couldn't figure out why... I remember laying there struggling to figure out how and why I was feeling so tremendously and powerfully sad when I was so happy to finally be in New Hampshire.
There's two reasons, I eventually figured out, but one of them was at the forefront.
My dad wasn't here with us.
Although it's been over a year since he died, it hit me on Saturday night how much I had looked forward to one day moving to New Hampshire with my dad. Now that I was here, and he wasn't here with us, it was breaking my heart and mind all over again, as his death did. That same intense pain, of seeing him passed away in that hospital room, and knowing of future moments I wouldn't be able to share with him, and here I was literally in one of those moments... moving to New Hampshire.
Knowing what my dad was missing out on, how happy he would have been to meet the FSP guys who came to help, especially since one of them owns a gun range. I couldn't breathe, the sadness was so crushing. It was also pissing me off, because I didn't want my first night in New Hampshire to be filled with such hardcore grief - but I couldn't shake it. Kenny probably wondered why I didn't chat up a storm when he came to bed. When I'm happy, which is most of the time, I'm all 'blah blah blah.' I think I said a sentence or two and then just got silent with my heart aching so badly it felt like somebody had put a suitcase full of boat anchors in it.
The second reason is something it'll take me some time to deal with - something personal that I'll have to resolve on my own, with time. Life sometimes adds stuff to the mix you never expect or even fathom will be an issue. It's been a long year, full of complex situations that I'm both thankful for and baffled by and some of which I'm angry about - but I think the choices made were the logical ones. There's a part of me, though, that questions some decisions I made. I wish I'd had more time to think about stuff, to talk about stuff, but the way the year went, in one big rush, with almost too many variables and unknown variables, in the end I just had to do and not do things based only upon the things known.
I wish I'd recognized the things I did know in the summer of last year as being things I probably shouldn't deal with alone. But I'm stubborn, and didn't think it would be a problem. I thought moving to New Hampshire would actually immediately resolve things in my mind and heart, but now I know that won't be the case. So, I'll deal with it, one day at a time.
The unpacking is going well - my only worries: I can't locate the swingy arm thing to my dad's grandfather clock, and the marble clock (which was supposed to go in my car) needs to be fixed in the back again, as it went up in the moving truck, and the swingy arm thing on that fell off and I can't locate the piece it connects to.
We're going to get my car on Saturday, hopefully. Not having a vehicle has a plus to it, though - my days are stuck here unpacking and sorting stuff out, so it's getting done very fast.
My new computer area is in a windowed sunroom, which has a birch tree and willow tree in view, as well as hundreds of other types of trees, and two huge, curvy hills in the near distance - everything has a nice layer of snow on it, too. The moon sets right between the dip between the two hills. It's a pretty room to spend mornings in, doing my computer routine of cribbage/spades/scrabble and emails. I love it - spending today organizing it, now that the rest of the house is somewhat in order. A plumber is coming today to fix the various issues we knew about prior to buying the home (nothing too major.) Last night I cooked a 'real meal' for the first time since we moved here - meatloaf, mashed tats, peas, rolls, cranberry sauce. :) I also put up Easter decorations yesterday, which the boys were happy to see when they got home from school.
Got to meet a bunch of FSPers on Tuesday night in Manchester - including somebody I hope is our next congressman for this district. Wish I could go to that event every Tuesday night, but trying to do the whole family/work/politics balance in life... gotta not schedule up the weeks too full.
Feeling 'centered' and ready for the next 40 years of my life. :) Lotta work to do, but I'm up for it. And thanks to Gene, I'm full of clarity and simplicity that makes it all the more easier and enjoyable. Sorta like having just the right tools to do a really big project... just makes things all the better.
I've been typing now for 22 minutes more than I planned to... time to get to this room organization.
Home... finally. :)
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