In exactly one month, on April 29th, the opening of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy! The trailers look great, everybody here at the house (as well as some neighbors) are excited to see this film. We're going as a group, and the group has tripled in head-count over the past week. We keep lending out the book so everybody can read it before the movie (Danielle has it right now).

Kenny and I were thinking aloud the other day as to why we hadn't read the book sooner... we'd heard about it, but it wasn't until last year when Randy From Nebraska (boredlurker) suggested I read it during a time in my life when comedy was desperately needed that I finally bought a copy from Amazon. Somehow reading the book did help, I tossed myself into the pages and the main theme of "Don't Panic!" kept me from blowing up. My anger at some unjust things going on last year had me in a constant state of hyper-reaction. By just following the simple suggestion of "Don't Panic", I was able to see things more clearly and act upon them rationally instead of the anger-induced irrational methods I wanted to unleash (like going to see the mayor or any top official and demanding they put a stop to the idiot-brigade.) Instead, I just mailed out copies of the incident that occurred last year to as many top officials as I could. What resulted was almost comical, and certainly positive.

When I got a link to the movie coming out, my intent was to go to New York to see it with some people from a forum I frequently go to, as nobody here was interested or excited about the film. But, when Kenny came out of the bathroom one day with his index finger at page 33 of my copy of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, it became clear by the look on his face that he was beginning to understand why I was looking forward to seeing a movie at the theatre on opening night. Normally I prefer to wait until a movie comes out on VHS or DVD, so I can watch it in the comfort of our home. It was the first movie I'd ever told Kenny I wanted to see on opening night, in the almost twelve years of our marriage. Part of me wonders if he also was just a little nervous about me bussing it to New York with a towel to meet with a group of other Hitchhiker's Guide fanatics. But I'm pretty sure it had more to do with the book itself, which he said was one of the funniest he'd read in a long time.

Shortly after he read it, he put a Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy screensaver on his computer (I hadn't even done that!), and one day while I was at work he showed the boys the trailer to the film. By the time I came home, KC was reading the book and the excitement had caught on...

The book has that effect on people; the more we've talked about it, the more people we know are asking to come along for the opening night show. We're going to have to bring both vehicles and it's possible by the time April 29th comes along we will need somebody else to drive a whole other carload. I suspect the movie is going to do well all spring, summer and possibly even into the autumn.

In other family news, one of the triops died last week. We expected the other two would die shortly thereafter, as that is what we read on every triops website. When one dies, the others usually die within days. Strangely and inexplicably, that is not the case. The other two are alive and well and continue to molt and grow.

April 7th is getting close now, and once that day comes and goes, I will be able to post about the situation that angered me to no end last year. We're confident (as are some key people) that on April 7th the final decision will show that we were 100% in the right. Sometimes battles come along and you wonder... "why in the heck is this going on?" But I think it's possible we were given a set of experiences that would allow us to share our knowledge of things from a very personal angle. I really believe that sometimes negative things happen so that positive things can come from it, tenfold. And it appears that before I even get to do what I'll be doing, some other negative chain of events are already leading to many positive changes. An overhaul of the system is needed right now, and it's good to see some top leaders are finally responding to what can only be described as a massive corruption. When cold cases get reopened at the request of the Mayor, and when society finally understands why and how the system has been screwing up, things can only improve and truly benefit society. After all, it's our tax dollars. The mistakes are glaringly obvious, and for once those who have been trying to get a media spotlight on the problem areas are finally being heard and not being dismissed as unreasonable advocates.

There's so many other areas that need to be looked into; it's my hope that Dontel Jeffer's mental health issues will also be reviewed (as he was most likely labled 'special needs' to be in that Mentor home). With so many children in the custody of the state being jacked up on pills and given a faulty-medical-science diagnosis, it's time that area of things be looked into further before worse outcomes, after decades of it going on, come to fruition. I believe if the statistics were just printed in a local paper, or spoken aloud on the evening news, alerting society to the numbers and percentages of children in the state's custody who are forced on medications, there would be an outcry so loud and in such volume it would pry the lid right off the sealed-can of corruption. When agencies team up and get laws passed that tie not only the hands of society together but even tie the legal system's hands together, something is definitely wrong. And all that needs to happen to reveal it is making society aware of it, a simple step that could lead to so much needed change. The agencies are so intertwined at this point, to levels most are not aware of, and it certainly is no coincidence that once they got in bed together that decisions began to be made not based upon what was in the best interest of each child, but what was in the best interest of all agencies involved. Just a graph showing how it effected the growth of profits, diagnosis, medication prescriptions and the differences each agency gets in federal and state funding when compared to non-medicated children would make society demand it stop. It's a simple step that starts with all of these agencies giving out their statistics and data, without any personal information revealed, just the numbers (something that is not easily googled, but if you are diligent and patient, you get some of the facts, and those alone can make your blood run cold.)

The more I research things, the more I realize that it is up to each parent to take care of their own without getting caught up in the lack of help in your own area; the agencies out there touting 'resources', waving them as bait, are only trying to lure you in so they can take over and keep things going the way they like them to be going: in circles. The more you run around in circles, the better for the agencies involved, as things go unresolved, undefined, and unchanging for months, years and sometimes, sadly, even decades. GO OUTSIDE YOUR AREA if you have to, as each state has a hospital that is known to have a high success rate. If your child has any mental health issues, call around, research online, find out what other resources are open to you on a private level. Save yourself the years of wondering what else you can do, get your child all of the testing done that is available so you can know what the situation is in absolutes, not wild guesses or trendy misdiagnosis tossed around each year to thousands per region. Once you get a grip on what's going on, you are out of that loop-de-loop feeling of going nowhere, your child will be better off, and you can actually beging to have hope and see things working out instead of staying stagnant and just feeding the incompetent system.

If you don't see positive results after a year of trying to resolve something going on with somebody you love, go outside your region. Change doctors. Do whatever it takes, stand firm no matter what tactics they use to try to get you to stay in the circles. We'd personally been in the circles for almost a decade; I would hate for any other family to have to go through the guilt you feel, as a parent, when you realize that you should have sought out better, more competent help sooner. Sometimes, as parents, we just think if we love enough, make life enjoyable enough, be consistent enough, that things will just sort themselves out. With some medical situations, no amount of stability will help, no amount of love or understanding will make things get easier or better for the one who suffers. I warn you that once you do seek help outside your region, there might be a shit-storm to follow, as local agencies will be angry... you are revealing them as the unable, idiotic circle-pushers they are. You are effecting their 'bottom line'. You are pretty much, by your actions, stating that you no longer trust their claims. You are letting them know you will no longer be manipulated to stand by and do nothing and just 'leave it all up to them'. You are their worst fear, as they are used to people, in sheer exhaustion, just giving the reigns over to them and allowing the circles of a pony ride in a fenced in area they have control over and profit from. When you jump over that fence, when you decide enough is enough, make sure you are united and strong, as a family, whatever the makeup of your family is, even if it's just you and your child. Make sure you document everything. Make sure you "Don't Panic!"

And bring your towel.

Four year old Dontel Jeffers was buried on Wednesday, March 16th. He was in state custody at the time of his death, even though family members had been trying to obtain custody.

And the manipulative whines for more federal funding began that same day. Society gets blamed as a whole. Social workers and foster parents let go cries for more federal and state funding.

To every agency member out there joining in the manipulation of tugging at society's heart-strings using this child's death as your tool: You aren't fooling anybody this time. Society knows what you did. You ran Dontel Jeffers' family through the usual course of corrupt bureaucracy. At that little boy's expense, you justified your actions to protect when you could not and did not protect. At that little boy's expense, you manipulated the laws to create delays, to meet your own agendas. At that little boy's expense, at the cost of his very life, snuffed out, you put that family through emotional torment and suffering for the months leading up to his death, and now increase the suffering by claiming all that was needed was more money. More money? It doesn't take more money to DO WHAT IT TELLS YOU TO DO IN YOUR MANUALS AND ON YOUR WEBSITE. To quote: Whenever the department removes children from their home, attempts to identify family or extended family members are conducted for placement. AND: The department seeks to place siblings together.


As the yelling, hooting and hollering go on for more federal and state funding, Dontel Jeffers, age four, and in the custody of the state of Massachusetts, which took full responsibility for his well being, is dead in a casket, unable to even whisper "please don't use my death to beg for money. I wanted to be with my family. Why wouldn't you let me be with my family?"

His family, at times sitting in stunned silence, must wonder why they weren't given custody sooner. You can see the cries and yells of anguish on the faces of relatives who were trying to get custody of Dontel so they could protect him, love him and care for him. You must wonder why these agencies and agency members would act so callous as to use this child's death as a tool of manipulation to get public sympathy for more funds when it's glaringly obvious the problem was not in the lack of money, it was in the department's incompetence in utilizing resources readily available: family members who were willing to take in the child.

Family members who were jumping through all the hoops, getting court dates, getting paperwork settled. Doing all they had to do, and in their exhaustion and frustration are now sitting in grief without a goal date of reunification anymore. The wake and funeral were and will be the only unification they get for all of their time, dedication and love for Dontel Jeffers.

All that needs to happen at this time would not cost tax-payers a dime. Information must be shared agency to agency in a more prompt, efficient manner so that family visits and phonecalls are not interrupted when a child is moved from placement to placement. Family contact may have been helpful for Dontel Jeffers, as his family could have had the chance to notice any warning signs of abuse.

Family members that are willing to take in children should be immediately background checked and cleared in a shorter period of time; this could be achieved by allowing any paperwork to be hand delivered to the department office instead of setting court dates. In Dontel Jeffers case, the only thing that appeared to be stopping his grandmother from obtaining custody was a paper stating the place she lived didn't have lead paint. I'm wondering what other claim was going to be made to stall the process even more at the upcoming court date that now won't take place because Dontel Jeffers is dead.

Agencies don't need more funding; they need to use their time and energy more efficiently, more logically, and they must follow their own protocol set forth in their manuals. Agencies must stop believing their own federally-funded caregivers are the better enviroment for children; the statistics already prove this is not the case.

If family members are willing and capable, as Dontel Jeffers' family was, allow them to take temporary custody after a background check while your agency sorts out the red tape and details. The odds are better for the children not to be abused in their own family members' homes than they are once they are placed in the 'system' (and has been proven with FACTS, not assumptions of lead paint.)

Don't let another child die in order to take these very simple steps. There are more than enough examples nationwide of how the system has failed at doing what is in the best interest of the child. Don't let proffesional ego or statistical duty get in the way of doing what is right. And don't think for a minute that the American society isn't paying attention. It's why the funding was cut in the first place. With statistics and lawsuits against your agencies (that I've linked to), it's time to make a change... from the inside, as it is your agencies that are the root of the problem, not the families you target. Your best foster families and social workers leave or quit the agencies not because of lack of funding, but because they aren't willing to lie, scheme and steal people's children to get state and federal funding and higher statistics to obtain that funding.

Let Dontel Jeffers death be your wake up call; society has been awake for years, we don't need to reflect on our actions, as it was not our actions that resulted in the death of a four year old little boy who will never get to hug his grandmother again.

From Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings, to Randy in Nebraska:

Ode to Odd
________

Life is wired weird
you and I, energy:
positive, positive

Surrounded by
opposite and
getting ourselves
neutral

In your Star Wars
in my Wedding Video
the thoughts and strength
of each other
prevail

And today I realized
just how powerful
and positive
this has all been

for us both

and will always be, you sexy goofball.

This poem is but an example of why I beat the Vogons and the Azgoths of Kria.

Update on the triops! They continue to grow, although only three are left. There's no cleanup when a triops dies, nor do you have to remove a dead triops. Triops are cannabalistic, be it an environmental cleanup instinct, recycling method or one of pure survival. As the triops we are raising are given ample food, it's clear that in the jar we have them in it was not a matter of not having enough to eat.

A few things we've noticed: they molt every day now, and probably were before but we just didn't recognize the smaller, finer outer-layer drop offs. It's impossible not to spot them now, as they are approximately 1.3 inches big.

They do a sparring ritual where two will meet at the bottom of the jar and press head to head in a battle of strength. The strongest one gets by.

They enjoy swimming upsidedown when they eat. They don't spot the food right away, as fish often will when you sprinkle some in a fish tank. It can take the triops a few minutes to notice that there is food floating in the water. Even if one is eating, the others do not seem to know to go where the food is found, and they will swim around looking for it even though it is always at the top of the water in the jar.

They love the sunshine. When a ray of light hits the jar, the triops swim merrily up and down the beam of warmth.

They look more and more like horseshoe crabs the bigger they get. They look very prehistoric.
Sometimes you'd swear they are 'showing off' for you. They do seem to notice when people are looking at them and will come up to the glass to check you out as you are checking them out.

They will probably, at best, survive another two months. At the rate they are growing, we might need to find a bigger tank for them within the next two weeks or so. KC has mentioned wanting to put some sand at the bottom of a replacement tank for them, as some of the websites we've visited show the triops with a more natural setting he'd like to replicate. We'll be visiting the beach at some point soon to get some fresh sand that we will wash out and let dry for some days before introducing the triops to a new environment.

Here's an interesting article about the Department of Social Services and a program called Mentor, which places children in homes they select as being 'most appropriate' for the care and protection of each child they get custody of:

http://news.bostonherald.com/localRegional/view.bg?articleid=72058

It appears that a four year old little boy, with parents that could not care for him but with biological relatives who were willing to take in the young child until either parent got their lives in order, was ripped from a caring and concerned family and tossed into the foster care system. The little guy had only been at that 'most appropriate' foster home less than two weeks before he was dead. His death is being investigated, as his body was covered in bruises. Cause of death appears to be that his heart just... stopped. His name is Dontel. Remember his name, Dontel Jeffers. Remember him as the Department of Social Services and the Mentor program attempt to justify their actions as agencies that "only want what is best for a child."

The relatives who wanted to care for Dontel were allowed to see him while he was in a previous foster home, right prior to the Mentor placement into the 'appropriate' home where he not so appropriately dropped dead. The biological family had visited Dontel for the past three months at the previous foster home two or three times a week, and had verbalized numerous times that they would take in Dontel for his care and protection. Once the Mentor program placed Dontel into the new and 'appropriate' home, the family members were not told where Dontel was, where he lived, and visiting rights abruptly ceased. I'm sure this had a devastating effect on Dontel, but not to worry... the Department of Social Services and Mentor program work in conjunction with trained therapists I'm sure they planned to have young Dontel meet with, and I'm sure any behavior patterns that could have be deemed as depression would have then been quickly medicated, if this young child wasn't already being strung up with pills. A stunning amount of children in foster care are given a trendy diagnosis and then medicated because it then places the child in the category of 'special needs'. Special needs children get a lot more federal and state funding than do other children in the foster care system.

You may be thinking right now that the Department of Social Services and the Mentor program had good reason to not allow Dontel's biological family take over custody of Dontel. But the sad truth is that in some cases there is no just cause, there is no due process, and the families that are poor or just not aware of their rights are bulldozed by a system that is intent on making quotas. When a young boy like Dontel comes along and the family is absolutely cooperative, they will only find themselves pawns in a systematic game of 'what is best for the child'. False assumptions, glaring biases, and morality judgments are enough for the Department of Social Services and the Mentor program to retain custody of children that family members are more than willing to care for. Family members are ignored, given the voice-mail-shuffle, and often left to wonder why these agencies, which strictly state on their website a desire to keep families united and that they will seek out relatives and foster care will only be used as an option IF there are no relatives willing to take in the child, would rather a child move foster home to foster home, creating more instability in the child's life, rather than allowing a family who shows genuine interest and cooperation to obtain custody of the child. As sad as this is, often the reason is based upon flawed and calculated hearsay.

Dontel is only one of the children statewide that will die in custody of the state with relatives who are trying their best to cooperate and more than willing to assist in the care and protection of the child... some of these families would be willing to care and protect the children with no help from state and federal funding. It appears that all the state and federal funding in the world didn't keep Dontel safe and protected. It's a fair assumption that death is not in the best interest of a child. Much more safer an assumption than Dontel's relatives were given as to their own abilities to care for and protect this four year old little boy.

Related links:

http://news.bostonherald.com/localRegional/view.bg?articleid=72176

in this article, Dontel's heart stopping may be explained by the possibility he was bound and beaten to death.

http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2005/03/08/childs_death_in_foster_care_probed/

The extended family of this little boy were trying to obtain custody of him since last May.

It's a sad testament to our tax-paid system when the system itself doesn't follow its own proposed course of care and protection by allowing relatives to be the first choice investigated when parents themselves aren't able to care for their children. There has been more than ample time from May of 2004 to March of 2005 for either agency involved in Dontel's death to have cleared Dontel's relatives for custody of Dontel. Obviously, their methods of investigating the safety of Mentor homes and clearing them is a little more lenient.

Want a fun, inexpensive and interesting thing to do with your kids? For under ten bucks, you can buy a prehistoric triop kit , found at most stores in the fish and pet section. We bought our kit for under six bucks! You don't even have to have children to enjoy this fascinating water creature. Follow the instructions and within 24 hours you will see tiny specks swimming around. They grow fast, at a rate I've never personally seen before, doubling and even tripling in size by day four. And they swim at high speeds, do lots of loop-de-loops, and are great fun to watch. Your nose will be pressed against the glass container, inspecting all the body parts. As these guys grow, I will post more pictures.

KC has been feeding them every day, and he understands that they only live roughly three months (he had a butterfly garden last year, so he already knows the process of life and how most small creatures only live a short life span.)

Be sure to set a lamp next to the water container (glass is best) so the temperature is at an optimum for growth. Because we started this project in the winter time, we keep the light on throughout the day and night, and have a small strip of aluminum foil along the buttom of the jar, creating a shadowed area for shade or rest. We got that tip from the instruction sheet, which is full of facts, tips and pictures.

For under ten dollars, this is an affordable project to do any time of year and adds to your child's love of learning through experiencing and doing something they find amazing. It also assists in the learning of responsibility, like feeding times and keeping track of days for water additions.

This summer we are going to embark upon a bigger, more expensive project in our back yard, or possibly the front yard. We are building a pond for some frogs that live around our house. Researching this project online, we know it will take a lot of work, but the result will be educational and lots of fun. If you have any tips with pond building, feel free to email them to BagOfEyebrows@gmail.com or just use the comment button below. We plan to start that project in June or July.